


Caged

by ItsJaya



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Universe, Dysfunctional Relationships, Exile, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kylo is not, Leia and Kylo should be working things out but hey, Mental Anguish, Minor Character Death, Prison, Rey is conflicted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-04 08:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17300939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsJaya/pseuds/ItsJaya
Summary: After the war, Rey feels lost and unsatisfied. Her role in the war has been the cause of guilt instead of pride. She shouldn't feel this way, she chides herself, but there's no stopping the Darkness that slowly consumes her.After the war, there is more Kylo Ren than Ben Solo. After all, Redemption was never an option for him.





	1. Chapter 1

Rey has decided that she hates coming home. She hates washing up and changing clothes and sitting down with some snacks to watch the news. She hates not understanding what’s going on. The lady on the screen will babble about different issues, some of which Rey can only form opinions on because they’re basic problems. She’ll switch the channel and find shows all portraying realities that seem impossible to attain. She shuts it off, as usual, and closes her eyes.

Lonely. At home, she’s always lonely.

Sometimes, she’s lonely even when she’s working at the orphanage or talking with old friends. Poe is busy flying off to new planets, helping form treaties. Finn works a tough schedule, helping reconstruct villages the First Order had wrecked and Rose had recently started a program to help former stormtroopers.

Rey realizes that she shouldn’t feel this way- there are various children in the orphanage she currently overlooks. They talk to her about hopes and dreams and legends. Some ask if they can come home with her. The time spent there was so fulfilling, she had plans to start a few more in the neighbouring planets, but for now, Leia advised her to start small.

She opens her eyes, absentmindedly tracing her armchair. That’s what Leia says a lot now a days. _She’s been saying that since Ben_ , her mind bitterly hisses. Three years and she still can’t even get access to see him. The burning hole the bond left behind has diminished, but it still bothers her. Especially when everything is quiet, she decides as she shuts her eyes and tries to sleep.  
.  
.  
“Tell me,” Ren asked, pushing forward a cup of dark liquid, “What good do you think your Resistance will bring to the galaxy? Something that they’ll do better than my First Order?”

“No one will fear us,” she mumbled, lifting the cup to her lips, her diligent eyes not leaving his. His jaw moves slightly, and she can feel his teeth biting the side of his cheek. She’s dreamed of this interaction more than a few times. “I don’t know exactly, okay?”

“Of course you don’t,” he responded, and she bite backs a response,”What do you know outside of Jakku, young Rey?”

“Plenty,” she snapped, slamming the cup down, liquid sploshing over the side, “What would you know outside of the lies you’ve been fed?”

“Much more than you,” he was calm, lifting his hand slightly and snatching the cup out of her grasp. “You should ask around, Rey. Check for yourself, how many supporters my side has had. I’ve got books ready to be read aloud to you. I’ve told you before-”

“And I always tell you,” she interrupted, “I don't need you. The First Order won't last much longer.”

He stared at her hard at first, eyes gleaming almost mockingly. Glancing away as he took a sip of whatever he had offered her, his voice ripples through her head, “How unfortunate.”  
.  
.  
.  
She jolts awake. _How unfortunate indeed._   
.  
.  
.  
“Rey,” Leia sighs, “It won't do you any good. I heard you're finally adapting to this new planet. Make some friends. Distract yourself.”

“I can't sleep,” she admits, “I mean, I sleep, but all I dream about is the past.” Looking down, she starts tugging at the hem of her shirt. “It’s been three years and I still feel guilty.”

“He’s not the only war criminal in prison,” Leia stands, “Hux has been serving time, some Knights have been exiled to planets that’ll surely be their graves.”

“I'm not asking you to pardon him,” she mumbles, “I just want to see him.”

“You’re young and still have plenty to learn.” She hates that tone. “Walk with me,” Leia sighs, her wrinkled hand against Rey’s shoulder. They pass by corridors in silence. The Senate Hall was grand and beautiful. When it had been planned, Rey had been hopeful of quick improvement. If she had gone from scavenger to hero in a a few days, then surely the galaxy could go from damaged to repaired in a year or so? How wrong she had been.

Following the First Order’s collapse, she was surprised to find in the few months Hux and Ren had worked together, they had managed to gain supporters. The money thirsty beings of the Galaxy loved Hux. He had helped them gain more status and wealth. Once the order collapsed, wealthy planets had voiced their opposition and the Resistance’s tactics were so far unsuccessful.

“I have a project for you,” Leia breaks her train of thoughts. Rey stifles a groan. “I’d like you to go back to Jakku with Poe. He has to go with a delegation I prepared in a week and you know that planet well.”

“It’s been five years since I was there,” she responds, nose wrinkling, “a lot changes.” Quite frankly, the last thing she needed was to visit Jakku. She had purposely avoided any desert planets. It had taken her quite some time to be over the fear of hunger and starvation and to dream of something other than being swallowed by sand.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Leia nods, “Establish a government with him there. It’ll take some work but it'll be worth it.”

She’s silent. Leia had managed to change the purpose of her visit but she was a scavenger, and bargaining was nothing new to her. “Let me see him first,” she says. “Then I'll go.”  
.  
.  
It reeks, she thinks, holding her breath for a moment, before releasing it. She was raised on Jakku. She had smelled worse. Looking up, she notes that the metal wall she had been told to wait in front of is creaking as the wall begins to move upwards. Beneath it, rails replaced the barrier, criss crossing one another. She supposed she should be shocked by his appearance, but she had expected no better. Gone was the towering insecure villain she had faced what seemed to be yesterday. Facing her now was a gauntly man, eyes sunken with lack of sleep and probably malnutrition. He looks away, not sparing a second glance.

“I suppose you’re here to grant me the glad tidings of being exiled,” his voice croaks, unrecognizable. If he is bothered by how he sounds, he shows no proof. She cannot speak. Something is choking her, she thinks. He must be using the Force, she decides. “Or maybe they've finally decided to publicly execute me. I must look terrible enough to be presented to the public.” She opens her mouth, but the sound that comes out sounds like she’s choking. Her cheeks are wet. Ah, she's sobbing. And she’s breaking down before she realizes it.

Maybe it's loneliness. Or horror. She should've expected this, she tells herself. This feels like her fault and it shouldn't. It's his fault, she tells herself.

“I don't need the Force to realize that this is a trick, Rey.”

She can't stop. This should be different, she thinks. I should've come sooner. I was a coward. And he leans forward, sunken eyes burrowing into her soul. “Yes, you were.”  
.  
.  
.  
“How did it feel to beat Darth Vader’s grandson?” the kids at the orphanage surround her, eagerly awaiting an intense story. Her throat tightens again, but she's meditated enough to avoid thinking about how he looks now.

“I didn't beat him,” she places her hands on her hips. But before she continues her story, the kids chuckle and prod.

“She’s being humble,” Kya says, poking her shoulder.

“I heard she sliced his face in half!” shouts a young

“And he lived?”

“Monsters can survive anything! My sis said so.”

“Your sis was talking about your dad, Sun.”

She glances at the time and sighs, “I’ll save that story for when I come back from Jakku. Don't cause any trouble while I'm gone.” She gets a few cheeky grins and pouty stares as a response. “I promise I’ll tell you guys.”

And they cheer for the Last Jedi. Cause being a war hero is great when you’re on the winning side.   
.  
.  
.  
She visits him again when she returns from Jakku. “Have you come to boast about your accomplishments?” he asks. “The guards were talking about the great Jedi the other day, going about rescuing her home planet.”

“I didn't rescue them,” she admits, and she grips the bars. If only they weren't there.

“Yes, then I would've escaped.”

“How are you able to hear my thoughts?”

“Let's just say I managed to get them to give me a chance to feel the Force. They could obviously tell that I was losing my mind without it.”

“Then why can't I feel you outside of this room?”

“Now why would they give me full access to it?” She’s silent again and he walks a few steps up front. “What do you want Rey?” And she’s choking up again. “Are you tempted by the Dark Side now? Have you come to ask for advice?”

“I can read now,” she manages to get out and he’s taken aback by her random statement. “I can cook basic meals too. I stopped sleeping in a curled position and I learned a bit of history. And-” she stops, trying to read his expression. There's nothing, she thinks. He’s hollow.

“And?” but she’s sobbing again and he’s calling for the guards to escort her out again.   
.  
.  
.  
A Knight passes away, she reads the headlines. His body was shredded up, she hears some say. A gruesome death, others nod. War criminals. She has learned that they get no sympathy.

“Why would they, Rey?” Leia asks, her eyes seeming to drown in deeper sorrow. “The Knights did not care about the villages they burned or the kids they enslaved. They were perfectly conscious. They knew what they were doing.”

“I know, but-”

“Rey, you’re twenty-four now?” She nods. “Try going out more. I've told you before, do not waste your youth. Either work to make an impact on others or yourself. No use dwindling on the past now.” _Kill it if you have to._   
.  
.  
.  
She goes out every weekend. Bars bore her, she concludes. The music hurts her head and drinks make her sick. Poe takes her for a few political parties. They're boring. Everyone uses their fancy accents to sound smart, she tells Poe who laughs it off. Loosen up, he tells her, hands at the small of her back. Judging others is such a boring thing to do.

They all judge me, she snaps back and he frowns. They think I'm stupid and just a power machine. And he sighs reaching out to hold her hand.

It's cold, is all that she can think about.   
.  
.  
.  
“Former First Order member commits suicide,” she reads aloud, and glances up to check on Ren’s response. He doesn't even flinch. “He died yesterday, after slamming his head into the wall.” Ren nods. He doesn't seem surprised at all and it bothers her. She knew Hux and him had not gotten along perfectly, but the recovering stormtroopers had claimed that they’re relationship had improved. “He’ll be cremated.”

“A suitable ending, don't you think?” He finally speaks, walking towards her. He places his hands on the bars and she can't stop herself from glaring at him. “After years of surviving abuse from his father and then from Snoke and then from me and then from your people the victim finally loses it.”

“Some victim,” she scoffs, “Did you forget Ho-”

“Of course not, how could I?” His hand extends and she’s reminded of the interrogation room, five years or so ago. She takes a step forward and he retracts. “And are there any Knights left?” She looks down before shaking her head and she feels him turning away from her. “You best hope I don't get pardoned or exiled,” his voice is low. “I’ll kill you all.”

“In your current state?” she whispers harshly, before speaking up, “If only you had listened to my plan back then-”

“It wouldn’t have worked,” he cuts her off, walking back towards her. He grips the bars so tightly, his knuckles turn white. Fear begins blooming, but she raises her chin, trying to look confident and stern. “None of us at First Order would surrender. We had everything. Our political plans were coming along. The only way this war would end was for your side to surrender or defeat us in battle.”

“So staging your loss was much better than surrendering?” she rolls her eyes. “Everything that’s happened since that day has been your fault. We should’ve worked out a treaty.”

“Your side thinks they represent righteousness,” he sneers, “They would’ve never agreed to a treaty with the Big Bad.”

“Your mother would’ve.”

“She is a politician. That’s why when you went back to her and she heard about the staged fight we’d have, she agreed. The benefits for your side was undeniable and the benefits you fed me were well thought out.” He pauses, breathing harshly. “Then again, she devised them so of course they were.”

“She told me what to say,” Rey admits, stepping forward. “How was I supposed to know your side would end up like this?”

Silence. She can taste his hatred, the burning wrath coiling at the base of her throat. “Get out,” he hisses.

Later, Leia messages her, informing that he had knocked the prison guards in charge of replacing his food and water unconscious, “Unacceptable behaviour,” she reads aloud as she watches the footage, captioned at the bottom.

She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. Unacceptable indeed.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

She woke up to the smell of rain. Sitting upright, his cowl slipped off her shoulders and he shifted, nose wrinkling. Regret hit her quickly. They were only supposed to talk. Then again, talking with him was like talking to his mother. They had their own ideas and no one could talk them out of it. One meeting he’s off offering her the universe and the next, he’s promising to decimate her and all her friends. She leaned over him, fingertips grazing the scar. The worse was when they set their mind to do something, she concluded. Then there was no talking them out. 

His eyes still closed, his hand clasped her wrist and he pulled her into an embrace. “Slept well?” She nodded, eyes shut tightly. “I don't have much time. Come with me.” And there he went killing the middle again. She sat up quickly and he opened his eyes lazily. “Rey, doing this itself is betraying the Resistance. What's another step further?”

“It works both ways,” she sneered, reaching out for her own cloak. “You coming here is betraying the First Order.”

“No. I am the First Order. I can't betray myself.”

“Cut it out,” she began dressing quickly. “And next time I come, let’s train a bit.”

“When's next time?” She rolled her eyes. He knew she didn't know. Their meetings were sudden and random, depending when the Force decided to mess with them. She’d see him one day and they'd meet the next before seeing each other in two weeks or a month or a few days later. “We can't do this.”

“No,” she agreed, “we can't. But it's either you come with me or this continues.”

He sighed as she left, and she could hear his thoughts at the back of her mind, pleading the Force to have her come back soon. 

.

.

She arrives at Jakku early in the morning. The heat is suffocating and oh, how she hates being here. The smell of sweat and burning hair fill her and there comes her sudden urge to vomit. No one is here to greet her and her delegation. Of course not. Poe suggests they go visit her old home first and she chuckles it off. Probably inhabited by some scavenger, she brushes it off with a wave of her hand. It's not necessarily a lie. The last few times she's visited Jakku, it's been without Poe and his fancy followers. 

She'd gone alone to visit her old home, now bare and musty. Nothing satisfying in there. She'd set up a cot and daydreamed of different possibilities before some poor disfigured alien (or was it a man?) showed up, ready to figure out what else could be salvaged. Sighing, she reminds herself Poe doesn't want to see her old abode to judge. It's just a glance, but then again, she didn't even let Ben look into her past so much and he'd been an open book to her. 

They set up in a fairly stable area, ship standing out brazenly amongst the hills of sand. They’re gonna try robbing us tonight, she informs. 

“We’ll take turns watching,” Poe ensures with a grin. She offers a small smile. Waiting up alone is the worse. Sitting by the supplies, she tries to meditate. It doesn't take her too long to give up. The Force and her are best buddies, as Ben used to say. When she needs it, it's there to offer its full support. When she doesn't, it's waiting on stand-by. Tonight, she's just not feeling it. This planet has her unsettled. Her last meeting with Ben has her unsettled. And oh great, she’s hungry. It's all Jakku’s fault. 

There's a sudden pang in her head and oh, are these stars? Everything's heavy. Was she hit from the back? No, the Force would've warned her. She leans forward and spills her guts as her ears ring and world plunges into darkness. 

.

.

“So you’re telling me,” she began as soon as he entered the room he'd booked for the night. “That since you Sith freaks gain strength through pain, you purposely let me slice your side?” She’d been seething. Sure the Resistance was very pleased that their Last Jedi had nearly won against the big bad, but he hadn't been trying. 

“You wouldn't try seeing me otherwise,” he shrugged. He tossed her a tiny box, mumbling “For opening up your side again.”

She glared, throwing it onto the bed. “So you let me wound you, humiliate you in front of your own troops, and then gift me a present? You’re a Supreme Moron.”

“Yes,” he sat on the bed, grabbing the box. He opened it, revealing a kyber crystal. “I am.”

“Where did you get that from?” she's suddenly elated. Her lightsaber is working fine and all, but this'll give her an opportunity to build her own. She sat by him, somehow satisfied at how smug he seemed. 

“Does it matter?” he questioned. 

Taking the crystal in her hand, she leaned against the pillow by him. “No, I guess it doesn't. “

.

.

“What did you do to yourself?” she snarls as soon as the wall is raised. He sits on his cot, staring at her blankly. “I felt that. Did they remove the Force restraints from you completely?” He shakes his head, lifting his arm to show that he’s now been chained to the wall. “So explain.”

“I was slightly poisoned,” he begins, “I presume it's because I killed a few guards a while ago. “

She grimaces. “Leia said you just hurt them.”

“That's probably what they're telling the outside world. She’s still trying to get me pardoned.”

“A true waste of time,” she rolls her eyes and approaches the cell. She can now put her hand through the bars she notes and looking up to him, she raises her eyebrow questioningly. “So they think that having you chained is enough?”

“No, the Senator just presumed that I could be trusted more now.” He’s lying. Although the Force barrier is now gone, she noted that the chain is laced with something. 

“You recently killed three beings.” He shrugs. “So the Force Bond,” she begins and ugh, he brightens up, “it's still there.” He nods. “But it's not as strong as it was before.”

“Unfortunately I can no longer taste what you eat,” he informs plainly. “I certainly miss normal food.”

“Be grateful,” she spits irritatingly. 

“I'm certainly not grateful,” he informs, lifting his chained hand. “Actually, I was grateful for the poison. It had been a while since my head felt like it was being hacked apart. I certainly missed that.”

“Well, I didn't. I even left Jakku early.”

“How's Jakku?” he changes the topic, and quite frankly, she’s pleased he asked. Let him hear how the Resistance is helping her home world, freeing the weak and damning the oppressors. He listens attentively and after she’s done, she studies him, trying to figure out what he feels. Is this where she cleaves into his mind? He missed the feeling anyways. She flighty taps his boundaries, but they're tightly woven. 

“You make everything sound black and white,” he simply offers before laying down, turning his face away from her. 

.

.

“Jakku thrives,” announces a woman, her hair sparkling brighter than her eyelids. “All thanks to the noble work done by…” And she begins listing the people that Rey and Poe worked with. The project had taken a year. An exhausting year of alternating between weeks at Jakku and a few hours with Ren. “These sand dunes have been tamed. The criminals have been dealt with. Schools have been established. With the guidance of our government, this planet will continue to improve.”

And Rey can't help but doubt. Although plenty of new jobs had been created, she fails to see how the inhabitants will live on. Years of scavenging and gangs and being under different masters- trauma takes time to fade. She recognizes it, but the people here are all hopeful. She’s sure there'll be new gangs forming tomorrow. Heck, perhaps someone will take advantage at work sites and become the new Unkar, collecting everyone's fees for himself and just giving out what he deems suitable. 

She's feeling sick again. She feels him more than she'd like to admit. The constant fear of eating something and dying. His numb hand. The Force being offered to him in tiny doses. He craves more and more. He’s become more and more submissive. Leia is pleased but she is disappointed. More and more, she is wondering how this world would've looked with him as a leader. 

.

.

“I'm tired of this,” he had admitted after they had both been sated. “Just tell her that the best option is to surrender.”

“We’re tied at the moment,” she told him, zipping up her shirt. “I think you guys actually have less supporters. A lot of planets don’t support you. It would make more sense for you to surrender.”

“Have you seen our fleets? Even suggesting that thought is ridiculous.” 

“Then? Your mother is not going to surrender.” He remained silent. “This is all stupid.”

“Talk to her. Tell her I won’t execute anyone. I’ll put some of them in prison and pardon those that aren’t involved.”

“We’re not going to submit to an organization built on terrorizing villages and murdering the innocent.” 

“Don’t think of it as submitting,” he insisted, sitting up. “It’ll be like the treaty we talked about last time except-”   


“Except the First Order will appear to be merciful,” she finished. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“We’re always avoiding it.”

“Cause all we do is fight about it.” Silence. His comlink went off, indicating it was time for him to leave. “Can’t you figure out a solution that both our sides would be fine with?” she asked as he began to dress. 

“I can, but you have to recognize that one side will gain more than the other.” She stood up, handing him his cloak. “Discuss it with her. Tell her I’m willing to compromise, but it must seem like my side has the upper hand. I’ll try talking to my generals and see if they’re willing to have peace talks.”

“They won’t be,” she stated confidently, and the last thing she saw before he wore his new mask was a glare.  

.

.

A month after Jakku is publicized a successful project, Leia calls her for lunch. The table is set beautifully, each utensil glimmering with sunlight. 

“Eat well,” Leia tells her, holding onto her hand before adding, “I’m so proud of you.” Rey is basking in praise. A year there is suddenly worth it. They talk over a few issues, but their conversation is mainly lighthearted. Finn proposed to Rose, Leia informs. Rey is surprised to hear that Rose had said no. Not ready apparently. Rey can’t comprehend but Leia smiles sadly.

“Sometimes it’s hard to be ready for these type of steps, Rey,” Leia explains. “Han and I, we didn’t hesitate much but what came after marriage was something we both weren’t ready for.” She looks down, and Rey’s throat tightens. “Ben was certainly a challenge we both weren’t ready for.” They look down, and Leia sighs, “This brings me to ask, would you like to escort him to his new planet?” And she looks up in surprise. Leia is smiling warmly, and that’s the only hint Rey needs. She’s off dashing to inform him the great news.  

“They're moving you to another planet,” she gasps out as soon as the wall is raised. She grasps the bars, and judging by the way he perks up, he’s just as anxious about it. 

“Exiled or in a cell?” he asks.

“Exile,” she smiles, “good thing, right?”

“For me,” he rasps, and her smile falters. “Come visit sometimes. You might like what you see.”

“I doubt that,” she shakes her head. She’ll just joke this off, she tells herself. “It's the planet were the short Knight died. It's dark and hot and the creatures there are terrifying.”

“Sounds much better than this,” he gestures to the cot behind him. “Those beings better taste good.” Her nose wrinkles. “What? It's not like your people will provide me food to eat.”

“Not like you'd eat it anyways.”

“True. They all want me dead. Never know what's been poisoned.” She rolls her eyes but can’t help but smile. “You’ll come more often?” And his voice is strained. Must’ve taken a lot of effort to ask, she concludes. “You can bring your work to wherever I’ll be. I’ll help you.”

“Give the former Supreme Leader access to a planet?” she jokes, but his eyes darken and she tenses. He’s silent. She wishes he would say something. Is he upset? Thinking? “I was thinking of staying with you after you’re exiled. Not forever, but I’ll come visit for a while when I don't have to work on Jakku. Your planet is close to it.”

“Rey, do you remember what I told you,” he finally begins, “in the cave?” And now she’s ready to leave.  “If you would've taken my hand that day, you wouldn't be lonely.” She’s taken a back. She’s certain that she’s not feeling lonely at all right now. Where’d he pull that out of?

“I would be,” she responds anyways. “I would’ve been even more lonely, Ben,” and she’s walking away, because that’s what she does best. “You would've killed them all.”

_ Yes _ , she hears him snarl into her mind after shutting the door leading to his prison.  _ I would've _ . 

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for commenting! I actually don't know where this story is going to go yet, but I hope you guys will join me to (hopefully) see this story unfold.

**Author's Note:**

> Any Reylo fans that don't neccesarily want a redeemed Kylo?


End file.
